The Gift of Comprehension
by Obsessed Authoress
Summary: Alice is already confused about this kissing stuff, so it doesn't help when she stumbles upon Gil and Oz while they're...uh...y'know. No, not THAT. Geez. Needless to say, an interesting conversation ensues. GilxOz, sorta implied JackxAlice ONESHOT


A/N- Oh man, I just love this fandom, I can't stop writing for it! But here, I'm taking a short break from my GilxOz fluff- oh, wait. ...Never mind. There's GilxOz fluff in here too. Jk. This time I'm trying my hand at Alice's perspective, though, so there's a little change. Ooh, and it's longer too, that's an improvement. -pats self on the back- And this one wasn't a pain to write, either, so...yeah. Hope you like it, it made me giggle a couple of times! -OA

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**The Gift of Comprehension**

_By ObsessedAuthoress_

Disclaimer: _Pandora Hearts_ belongs to its rightful owners, but I won't be defeated! I'm working up a system of bribes: meat for Alice, cigarettes for Gil, sweets for Break…

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Alice had been in the real world for a while now, and she prided herself on having figured out a lot of things during that time.

For example, she'd discovered that meat was good. Very good. But, on the other hand, it wasn't okay to run up and take some off the first food stand she saw. The _why _of it still sort of escaped her.

She had also learned a lot about people, how they worked and how they thought. Her impressions of them were long-lasting, and so far, fairly accurate. Every so often, she would stop and study those around her for a little while, observing their behavior.

…And she didn't care what anyone else said: the clown-face might be one of their friends, but he was still _evil_. Oz had only laughed the last time she said this, and didn't bother to argue, so she assumed that he secretly agreed with her.

The seaweed-head was useless. Miss Sharon could be scary. That simpering blonde sister of Oz's was annoying, and their Uncle Oscar, well, she wasn't really sure about him, but she did know that she liked the juice he brought sometimes when he visited. Though it made her feel awfully hot, for some reason.

And the boy, the one from the annoying girl's school, with the funny hair that flipped up in the front and the pale blue eyes, so pale they were almost gray…

There was something about him that disturbed her, but she didn't know what it was.

However, among all these things that she was growing to understand, there were some things that she _just didn't get_.

Like kissing.

It didn't make sense. What was all the fuss about? Miss Sharon seemed to think that kissing was terribly important, but Alice didn't share the opinion. It was nothing, really; she and Oz had done it when they made their contract, no big deal.

Right?

Of course, Sharon tried to make her see reason, spewing words like _love_ and _romance_ that Alice didn't really understand either. She showed Alice books, telling stories of heroes and heroines, warriors who saved the day and rescued their damsels from danger. No matter the adventure or the characters, they all seemed to end in a kiss, as far as Alice had seen.

But…why? What was so great about a kiss? There seemed to be some meaning behind it that she couldn't grasp, and frankly, it was irritating.

After another fruitless session with "Sister Sharon," Alice decided that she would try and figure it out on her own. Having made this decision, she left to seek out Oz. Since he was her manservant, he would be the best one to ask questions of. It was his duty to wait on her every whim, after all.

Strangely, finding Oz on this particular day proved to be rather difficult. She searched up and down the mansion's halls, calling his name- or some form thereof- but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, huffing in frustration over his inexplicable absence and her internal dilemma, she went in search of Raven, since he often knew where Oz was when she didn't.

Alice was about to open the door to Gilbert's room when her ears caught an odd rustling from inside. She paused for a moment, but it kept going, now accompanied by what sounded like several muffled moans. Very quietly, she twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open a crack, trying see who or what was making the noises.

Violet eyes widened upon finding the source.

Oz was lying on the bed on his back, Gil hovering over him on hands and knees; the rustling came from Oz shifting around on the sheets, arms lifted to wrap around Gil's neck and tug him closer. The blond and the brunet appeared to be joined at the mouth, one of them making those soft moans into the intimate contact, which kinda looked a lot like…

…Kissing.

Gil and Oz. _Kissing_.

The seaweed-head and her property-

Alice pulled away from the door, head spinning. Why would the seaweed-head be kissing her property? This wasn't like the books Miss Sharon had showed her, where the hero swept the heroine off her feet. As far as Alice could tell, there was no heroine involved in this little scenario. So, if that wasn't it, then…

There was only one another possibility.

"STOP TRYING TO FORM A CONTRACT WITH MY MANSERVANT!" she shrieked, throwing the door open and rushing into the room.

Both Gil and Oz started violently at her entrance and broke their kiss, green-and-golden eyes darting over to stare at her. Gil gave a shocked yell, rearing back on his heels with a rather terrified expression, while Oz pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"Ah- Alice…?" the blond started, bemused at the interruption.

Alice stomped over to the bed and yanked on Oz's shoulders, tugging him back from the other man with a scowl. Gilbert had recovered himself, though, and he scowled right back at her, reaching out to pull Oz back toward him. Alice was not to be deterred. Oz was her property, her manservant! She wasn't going to hand him over to some seaweed-head with a stupid-looking hat!

A certified melee followed. Eventually Gilbert was just struggling with Alice, and Oz had somehow ended up on the floor, giggling madly.

"I'm _not_ trying to form a contract with Oz, you idiot rabbit!" Gil shouted finally, exasperated. He pushed her away and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "We're just k-kissing!"

Alice sat back and gave him a flat look, watching blood rush to the dark-haired man's face. "So?" she inquired bluntly. "If it's not for making a contract, what're you doing it for? You're both the same, so why?"

Realizing that she was referring to their genders, Gil turned even redder, and Oz- still on the floor- went off into another gale of laughter. The gunman sent the blond a rather miffed look, seeing as Oz's hilarity abandoned Gil to explaining the situation. "W-well, ah…" He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of an adequate response. "It's something that people do, uh, when they feel a c-certain way…?" He trailed off at Alice's blank expression. "Oz!" he practically wailed.

Oz snickered just a little at the taller man's despair and climbed to his feet, dusting himself off briefly before joining them on the edge of the bed. "Ne, Alice, you know we kissed when we made the contract," the boy began. Gil huffed at this and looked away as Alice nodded. Oz suppressed a smirk. "Well, there are different kinds of kisses, and each kind means something different," he told her. "Yours and mine just meant that you were going to be my Chain, and I was going to be your contractor."

"Manservant," she corrected automatically, chewing on her lower lip in thought and missing Oz's fond smile. "Then, what does your kiss mean?" she wanted to know, glancing between the two males.

Gil blushed again, vividly, and Oz grinned, raising bent arms to clasp both hands behind his head. "It means we like each other a lot," the blond said. "Ah- but that doesn't mean you can go around kissing all the people you like," he hastened to add, foreseeing potential disasters in the future. "Kisses are special."

Alice considered this for a moment and then looked up at him, a bit red in the face but determined. "D-do you like me a lot, Oz?" she mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

Oz smiled again and patted her head gently. "Of course I do, Alice, but it's a different kind of like. You can like people in different ways, just like there are different kinds of kisses." He tilted his head to the side, studying her. "…The way I like Gil is sort of the same way you liked Jack," he said quietly.

Lilac orbs darted up to look at him, startled, and then shifted away again just as fast. "Hn," the Chain hummed absently, not venturing confirmation or denial on the subject. Oz felt a ribbon of tender amusement threading through his being, though he knew it didn't belong to him.

_Is she still the same as she always was, Jack? _

There was no response from the century-old hero sharing his head, but Oz wasn't really expecting one. He was almost positive he heard a faint chuckle echoing in the corners of his mind, though.

Alice jumped to her feet suddenly, pulling the boy out of his thoughts. "You!" She pointed an intimidating finger in Gil's direction; the dark-haired man started. "I'll let you off this time, but don't think that means you can steal my property from me!" Ignoring the way Gilbert's mouth worked soundlessly in lieu of a comeback, she marched for the door, declaring, "I'm going to go find some _meat_!"

Oz and Gil watched in silence until the door closed behind her. Then Gil snorted, something close to a pout slipping over his features. "'It means we like each other a lot,' huh?" he muttered, repeating what Oz had said earlier. The shorter young man laughed softly and scooted forward, twining his arms around Gil's neck.

"Was there something else you wanted me to say?" he asked innocently, giggling as Gilbert growled and pushed him over amongst the pillows, looming over him in playful threat before sealing their lips together once more.

As for Alice, she decided that clearly this kissing business was more complicated than she'd first thought. Perhaps it would be best to leave it alone for a while until things became clearer.

But at least now she understood _why_ Oz and the seaweed-head were kissing.

"_The way I like Gil is sort of the same way you liked Jack." _

"At least _some _things make sense," she grumbled to herself, trying not to blush over her platter of ham.

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A/N- Yay, I wrote something non-angsty for once, with an actual plot! Maybe I have a sense of humor after all! -crickets- ...Ah... Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought! Thanks! -OA


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